Pause

Finding grief in the quiet moments

Dear Ones, time is arbitrary, but there is still something about the new year that makes everything stand out and demand attention. Recently I had a conversation with someone who has been stumbling through the death of her spouse. (And, really, how else do you move in that space besides stumbling?)

For 15 years we had conversations.

We would have 20-second hugs and

at the end

I could hold his hand but

he couldn’t hold mine.

They say the dog will die within two weeks.

I can’t take it.

I won’t survive it.

The night before he died, I prayed

(for the first time in a long time)

I prayed that he would go.

It was just too much.

For both of us.